Parker's scheme, and the fertility foursome

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Parker's scheme, and the fertility foursome
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The week of March 16, 2009
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Note to Jack: when your child misbehaves, you don't send him to boarding school. Obviously, Parker is in need of something, but isolating him from everyone he loves is only going to make the situation worse. Hal is rolling over in his grave right now.

Goodbye "Lullaby," and hello master manipulator. Lucy Montgomery came back to Oakdale recently, but she isn't the sweet little Lucy we all knew and (some) loved. This lady puts the "con" in con artist. Seriously, it takes a pro to get one over on Craig, and she's done it twice already. Carly, you may have met your match.

I'm torn about this recent development. On the surface, I'm thrilled that Lucy may have a little of Craig in her after all; it's sure to make things more interesting than the version of Lucy that's a saint. But conversely, it's ripping my heart out to see Craig, who genuinely wants to bond with his "Lullaby" again, get taken in by her lies. When she commented to the mysterious stranger on the phone that her father fell for her act, and that he must be getting soft, my heart broke a little. I used to love the relationship between Lucy and Craig - (prior to his ludicrous kidnapping scheme.) They had such a bond. Now, it appears that Lucy still hasn't forgiven him and is out to bring him down.

The stranger on the phone could be Rosanna. She and Lucy always had a strong bond. Sierra could also be a possibility. Or maybe it's Dusty, and their whole fight was an act. Whatever Lucy is up to, it's killing me that she is duping Craig with her love. When he told her this week that he hadn't just missed Johnny while they were on the run, he had missed his little girl, too, it made me nostalgic to see Craig happy again with someone who loves him. Sadly, it doesn't appear that the person is going to be "Lullaby."

Meanwhile:

  • Note to Jack, when your child misbehaves, you don't send him to boarding school. Obviously, Parker is in need of something (my guess would be stable parents,) but isolating him from everyone he loves is only going to make the situation worse. Hal is rolling over in his grave right now.

  • Is Lucy a super spy? How did she track down Parker and Liberty's car so quickly at the mall when no one else could find them? She needs to forgo medicine and join the cop shop. They can't ever find anyone.

  • So Carly turned into an alcoholic in just a few weeks. That was fast. I wonder if her rehab will be just as quick.

  • Paul and Emily were a hoot this week (see the Best Lines of the Week for proof.). More, please. That's the Paul I love: sarcastic, fun, and free of his demons, (at least for a little while.) And by demons I mean Meg and Dusty.

  • Ali calling Jade a whore is like the pot calling the kettle black. Um, Ali, you used to do PORN! And why didn't Ali smack Emily instead of Jade? It was Emily who put the seduction plan in place, not Jade, so Em should have received the smack down, too.

  • I love a good bad girl, and this version of Jade Taylor is fantastic. I can't wait to see what kind of trouble she gets into next. Casey, you have been warned.

  • Kudos to Craig for saying what we all were thinking to Dusty this week, when Dusty was bargaining to see Johnny. Sadly, Craig was right. If Dusty had custody, he wouldn't let Craig near Johnny either. (We've seen that already.) They're both wrong to keep each other out, but at least Craig is honest about it.

  • During the scenes at Carly's with Jack, Janet and Parker, Craig was the sanest person in the room. That makes me a little nervous, when Craig Montgomery is the voice of reason. But seriously, Carly, Jack and Janet are all acting like crazy people. Janet, shipping Parker away isn't going to save Liberty's virtue. It's just going to make her rebel more. Has she never watched 90210?

  • Emily has me puzzled. Why is she so determined to keep Ali and Casey from being together? Is she jealous, or does she think Ali can do better? The whole thing makes no sense. Emily dumped Casey in a red-hot minute when Dusty came back, so it's not like she's in love with Casey. Or is she?

  • I know the way the show is being written that I'm supposed to be rooting for Ali and Casey. Sorry, folks. Those two are a snooze. He had oodles more chemistry with Emily, and now Jade, than with Ali. In fact, Ali has turned into a complete bore since Chris left town. Remember the first version of Ali when she was a beloved troublemaker? I miss that girl. I hate to say this, but since Ali kicked her drug habit, she seems to have lost all her spark.

  • Apparently I blinked and missed it, the moment Casey fell in love with Alison. He was just in love with Emily and married to her a few short months ago. Ah, the young, fickle heart.

  • Carly is a hypocrite, no wonder she's hitting the bottle. She was reading Craig the riot act about not turning his back on his child, while making plans to send her son to boarding school.

  • I can't help but laugh at Casey being coveted as the town's man candy. It seems everyone wants a piece: Jade, Ali, Emily, etc. Ladies, he's a former felon and a college drop out, who works as a janitor. I'm not saying that he isn't a hottie, but I'm not sure he's worth all the arguing and slapping.

  • Was Carly so sauced that she got confused about Parker's favorite dinner food, or was it just a writing mistake? At first she said she would make Parker's favorite food: steaks. But, then, she actually served Cajun chicken. At least she didn't burn the house down. I guess that's a plus.

  • Was anyone else shocked that Noah and Luke were so friendly with Brian? I mean, he hit on Luke, so Noah should at least be a little weird with him, right? It was if they were all old pals. Strange.

  • Go Parker! I'm rooting for him to win his court injunction and not have to go to boarding school. Why he would want to stay with all the crazy adults in his life is beyond me, but I guess the crazy people you know are better than the ones you don't! His plan for marriage is completely nuts though. I understand he's desperate, and Jack has certainly shown him that marriage isn't something to take very seriously, but I suppose Parker is desperate. When Janet finds out though, he may want to re-think leaving town. That lady is scary.

  • This fertility storyline with Brad, Katie, Vienna and Henry is so odd. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that Henry is actually in a front-burner storyline that doesn't involve him dressing up in costumes, but I'm stunned at how selfish Katie is being. She knows that Vienna wanted her own baby and that Henry did not want children. Yet, Katie is going along with Vienna's scheme. I don't blame Henry for wigging out, watching his girlfriend be inseminated with another man's sperm. I'd say there is a good chance Vienna is going to fall for that baby and want to keep it; how could she not? It's all going to end badly. I'm telling you. Frankly, with all the birth control sabotaging that Katie and Vienna did, I'm not sure either one of them are mature enough to be parents.

  • Things that make you go "hmm..." Brad didn't want a magazine to help him make his sperm deposit, saying he'd never had trouble before. Um, Brad, how often do you fly solo?

    Best Lines of the Week:
    (Henry smirks when he realizes that Brad is unable to produce a sperm sample at the hospital for the fertilization.)
    Katie: "Please, Henry this is hard enough."
    Henry: (Grinning.) "Well then there shouldn't be a problem."

    (Emily goes to see Paul after her plan to hire Jade to seduce Casey blows up.)
    Emily: "I just had another scheme backfire on me, and I thought who better than you would understand."
    Paul: "That kind of makes sense. Let's get drunk."

    (Paul is intrigued, as he watches Lucy dismiss Dusty in front of Craig.)
    Paul: "Lucy just sided with her lunatic father against Dudley Do-Right. What's that all about?"

    Reader Spotlight:
    (From Two Scoops reader Kristal.)
    "Did ATWT fire the resident barber? Please oh please hire someone. Every man on this show is in desperate need of a haircut. Between wolverine/Dusty and Jack with his extra-long shag, I can't take looking at them anymore."
    Dear Kristal, don't insult Wolverine like that. : His hair is better than Dusty's these days. I'm kidding of course, but you're so right. Dusty does look like Wolverine. I couldn't have said it better myself. Even Brad's hair is bordering on scary these days. ---- Jennifer Biller

    (From Two Scoops reader Jerald.)
    "I am just confused by all of the sympathy for Craig. I am quite sure there are people who have been watching longer than me, but for as long as I have been watching, Craig has done more evil than good. Why is no one calling him out for what he's done? I mean...come on he ran Carly's sister off the road for god's sake. If someone ran my sister off the road, I'd want to slit their throat. I wouldn't drink and sleep with them. That says more about (Carly's) character than anything else. In Oakdale, they will let anyone raise children."
    Dear Jerald, you are not alone in your feelings for Craig. If you visit any online message board, you'll see plenty of Craig haters. I just don't happen to be one of them. I'm not going to defend his actions; they are deplorable. But Oakdale is always much more interesting when Craig is in town, and that's what I love. As for Carly's parenting skills, I'm with you. It's no wonder Parker is acting nuts. He's had a horrible role model. ---Jennifer Biller

    That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
    Jennifer Biller

  • Jennifer Biller
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