We're a week into spring, and I already feel springy. Springier. Um. Let's just say I have "Spring Fever," and it seems like it's blossoming all over Salem, too. Our fair residents seem even weirder and wilder right now.
Things are changing and rearranging in town, too. Kayla lost her job. Craig found it! Satan's setting up Belle left and right. A DiMera is moving into the Kiriakis mansion. So is Sarah, who still thinks she's a DiMera. Gabi and Jake are done. So are Gabi and Kate! And, well, there was so much wacky, we're going to plunge into this week's column RANDOM THOUGHTS-style and see where we end up. So, first, let's stroll to Sweet Bits for some snacks and then scramble around Salem...
Yes! John said, "That's a fact." As per the DAYS drinking game rules, take one shot (or shotgun a doughnut).
"CIN" asked Allie and Chanel to bake a gender reveal cake for a party. Considering how horribly so many reveal parties in the real world go because of stupid choices, I am putting on a safety helmet before attending one in Salem, given its track record with celebrations. Oh, especially a celebration with the actual devil around and Clyde being paroled. Oh, Sweet Alice in Soap Heaven, this sounds like an epically bad idea.
Seth Burns is a jerk! You do not fire Doctor Sweetness and get away with it. Then again, perhaps dealing with Leo will be his punishment.
Sorry, John and Doc, but I'm totally Team Shawn-D. He should have been called immediately. I know the devil was doing them all dirty by doing so, but getting Shawn involved should not have been Satan's work. You know whose work it should have been, "Jarlena." I mean, you can't win with love without loved ones around.
Also, I know John got the Saint Benedict medal from the saintly drifter Gabe, he has firsthand experience and that box-o-exorcism from the '90s, but it's not exactly a weekend DIY project. Maybe he should have phoned Eric. At the very least, he should arrange a follow-up appointment with some ghostbusters or something.
Marlena expressed, "The devil is gone...forever." Oh, Doc. I expect more from you. I just shook my head.
I clapped and cheered when Craig drew the line for Leo by stating, "We do not trash Nancy." Exactly, Doc Wesley! Well put. Sorry. Chief of Staff Wesley. Leo needs to write that rule down Bart Simpson-on-a-chalkboard-style until he gets it, man.
Conversely, statements like that make me believe Craig has got Leo's number. He knows what he's dialing into. Craig isn't exactly a saint, and while he's never been in a relationship with a man, he certainly isn't inexperienced at life. So, should the revenge scheme brakes be pumped a bit, Sonny and co.?
I do like Jake and Gabi together, but is it wrong that I'm more bummed that Gabi and Kate are in a timeout? They're coconspirators and family. Hmm. Maybe Sami can mend fences once she's back in town.
Then again, Sami may end up having her own beef with Kate. Drats!
I think this is the first time Jake hasn't had someone lined up after a breakup. I'm fairly sure he bounced from Gwen to Gabi to Kate and back to Gabi without missing too many beats. It will be interesting to see who he gravitates toward next, should he not rebound again, which I kind of hope he and Gabi do once the satanic smoke has cleared.
Nevertheless, I do understand Jake's heartbreak. The poor guy was a mess. Relationships are messy enough without adding Satan into the mix. So, let's stop by the pub and buy Jake a cold one. While there, maybe we can also talk to Roman about his lack of St. Paddy's décor. I mean. Oh, right. Poor Jake. There, there. We got you, buddy.
Maybe Kayla and Marlena could bring back the Riverside Medical Clinic! Oh. Oh! And hire Nancy as their administrator. Something tells me this trio could have Bette/Diane/Goldie The First Wives Club-type chemistry. Let's make this happen, Team DAYS.
Score one for Laurisa! She wrote in her last column, "Bad boys and trouble ahead," that Anna wouldn't tolerate anyone treating Carrie uncompassionately if she were in a situation similar to what Sarah is now, and Tony brought up that very point on Thursday. Thankfully! It's very valid.
Also still very valid, Salemites need to remember this is about Sarah's recovery. Not them. She's the victim here. So, grab that lobster to go, clean up any syringes laying around, check corners for Kristen, and get her some antidote. And the White Pages. She has calls to make!
Really, though -- Clyde's already out on parole!? We spoke about this a few weeks ago. Yep. It's the prison version of SORAS-ing. Maybe the devil dressed up like the parole board? Maybe. Something does tell me Satan and Clyde will hit it off (dark) magically.
Unless Clyde ends up sacrificing himself for his grandchild in an act of pure selflessness. Ha! You're right. Pigs'll fly first.
I hate to admit this, but Leo's not entirely wrong about the "Kayla Johnson Administration." It's certainly had its hot mess moments. Like that time Doctor Kayla let a mother -- not employed by the hospital -- operate on her son, or the time she spoke about firing an employee with a relative and didn't do so privately. Wait. That was two times speaking about firing the same employee in public settings (the Square and lobby). And all those infractions were within about a 24-hour-ish period. Whoops.
Thankfully, Craig is a paragon of virtue and would never, ever break a rule or even bend one slightly. No siree. Nope. Never. I'm sure if he even thinks of it, his "Jiminy Cricket" Leo will course correct him. Oof.
Still, what Sweetness occasionally lacks in Chief of Staffing, she makes up for in spectacular friend mode. I would certainly want her in my corner during conflict. Chin up, Kayla. We have your back.
Also, maybe Kayla was just overwhelmed. Her stepson who just became a doctor seems to be the only other help she has at the hospital. Methinks Nurse Maxine needs to return and straighten things out.
Oh! I just remembered that Clyde and Kate have a very sordid history with one another. I repeat, "Hmm!"
Gwen's downfall is going to be very, very gratifying.
Future Official Understatement of the Year Nominee: Nicole stating to Rafe, "We lied to her for way too long." I think it was the lying, sex on a conference room table, lying some more for too long trifecta that really ticked off Ms. Vitali. You know, maybe.
Ava now knows about Allie and Chanel. Ava's also in a bad mood. This is not going to end well, I suspect.
Tripp was absolutely right when conveying he gave Allie every chance in the world to come clean about her feelings for Chanel. He did. He really did. I get that Allie wasn't ready, but still, he did. He really did.
It also kind of made me blue when Tripp said that he and Chanel were just becoming friends. I liked their rapport with one another, too. Maybe time will heal wounds, well, if Ava doesn't inflict unhealable ones.
I guess when you ask your bestie to seduce someone for revenge, the next favor you ask will pale in comparison. Good strategy.
Also a big favor, asking a friend to move into your house so they can emotionally support your mentally ill daughter. I feel for Sarah, but I also feel like, aside from Abs going to see Dr. Rolf, there's really no game plan here. I'm a planner. I need at least a vague outline before committing. I kid. I kid. I'd help Sarah if I could, but not too-too much, as Renée is kind of a hoot. Is there a way to have your Lobster Newberg and eat it, too? Such a conundrum.
The truth (kinda) dropped that it was Satan, not E.J., kissing Abigail. This sent Chad into a guilt spiral. Belle, too. They both had the right reaction, though 'Tink really has nothing to feel bad about. I did like her scenes with E.J., though! She promised to keep moving forward to clear his name. This friendship is fascinating.
E.J. also remembered the truth bomb, err, bullet that Clyde was present when he was shot! The Dan Feuerriegel and James Read combo is amazing. I could watch those two go head to head all day.
And, wowza! Dan Feuerriegel was utterly gripping when E.J. ripped into Clyde about his "death" and recovery. Like, Eej even knew how many days it's been since he took the bullet. He kept track through "death," a coma, and a marshmallow head. That's determination. Seriously, though, that rage and pain was beautifully executed by Dan. It was heart-wrenching.
Melinda Trask really needs a hobby to calm her down a bit. Lady's always on eleven. Like, she shouldn't even expect to win cases at this point in her career, given her track record. Just collect the paycheck and go home, Mel. And maybe start a TikTok account to explain Salem conspiracy theories. I'll give her a topic -- residents having a certain face one day and a new one the next. Boom.
I'm disappointed that Will (and Ari) are already heading back to Arizona. Luckily, they left Sonny behind. I'd say that's a grand consolation prize.
Though I am curious as to what Will's story is about. Are we headed for another globetrotting adventure, or will he return to break a current storyline!? Maybe he'll deliver the truth about T.R. or accidentally discover Chad and Kate's trickery. Oh, what would he do with that info about his bestie and grandmother!?
Speaking of...if Chad's going to do dishonest things, I'm glad he's at least doing them with Kate. I'm not condoning them, but I'll celebrate whatever keeps them bonded. When Chad and Kate fight, it hurts my DAYS-loving soul a bit. And Madeline's, too, Soap Gods rest her soul.
I feel terrible for Belle! Like, we need to bring her a comfy blanket, ice cream, and a lot of hugs. Like Kayla, we got your back, 'Tink.
Martha Madison just keeps bringing new tricks to the table with her tremendous performances! I'm in constant awe.
Satan's shock and stating, "Surprise. Surprise. That'll work," upon seeing CIN's results is puzzling. Unless Ciara's having dalmatian puppies, how stunning could the results be?
On the topic of tykes, does anyone else suspect more pregnancies to come? Johnny and Chanel hit the sheets hard before they broke up, and Xander and Gwen are very, um, active. Due to the current state of both couples, a baby making three would certainly be impactful now more than ever.
Snaps to E.J.! He took responsibility for screwing up his trial. There once was a day that he'd have blamed his outburst and the outcome itself on everything under the stars. So, that's some good growth, Elvis Jr.!
During Friday's episode, Rafe said something like he hasn't ever been in a relationship with someone like Nicole before. Umm. Are we sure about this, Rafe-A-Roni and Cheese? Hope is the most different of all his former flames, but to verify, I can check with certainly-not-Nicole-like Sami, Ava, Kate, and Post-Trauma Jordan. Then again, Hope did have that Princess Gina run, sooooo, yep. Rafe seems to have a type.
I feel like this chief of staff storyline is the same one played out years ago, substituting Leo for Nancy in Craig's corner. Perhaps we should do a side-by-side "Who wore it better?" showdown. Or perhaps behind every great man is an even greater diva. That seems more like it.
If anyone's wondered just how deeply Sonny's PTSD has affected him, just take a look! He's an entirely new man. I'll show myself out for that one.
HOT
Congratulations to Team DAYS for winning the Writers Guild Award in the Daytime Drama category! A well-deserved victory. Cheers and lots of love to the entire cast and crew!
NOT
Satan's getting a bit rapey. Not only is Gabi doing things against her free will, but it's also Johnny's body Satan is exploiting. This is not okay. No means no, Beelzebub.
Also, a "NOT" from Laurisa! She exclaimed via text, "I hate that we didn't get to see Gabi and Arianna together. Especially now, it wouldn't hurt to see Gabi's maternal side." Agreed!
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
Chad (to Wilson): "I'm a DiMera. We invented revenge."
Kate (to Chad): "You're framing the devil. I don't think he's going to be offended."
Anna (to Maggie): "So, you want to use my husband as some sort of, what, therapy animal!?"
"This calls for tiramisu!" is always, always the right response.
Legit, I think Rafe's longest relationship has been with his bathtub. I get it. He has an amazing setup.
Seth Burns is sure quick with the, uh, burns. He's kind of a bastard, but he did make me chuckle when exchanging jabs with Kayla.
My Spidey Soap Senses are tingling. Something makes me suspect that Parker and Sydney are at the same boarding school.
Also, could Joy and Tyler Wilkens (Kiriakis) or Steven Hawk be in the same scholastic program?
Does anything good ever happen in Brookville, USA? I feel like once Abigail is done visiting Dr. Rolf, she should do a Lisa Ling This Is Life-esque exposé for the Spectator. I'm sure they have vlogs on their website.
Ha! Craig declared "psycho nurses and Seth Burns." I know she was institutionalized initially, but I wonder what ever became of Ali McIntyre.
Tina Huang is great as Melinda Trask!
Renée asked for the White Pages. She's like Salem's very own time capsule. Wait until she finds out about the Internet and DoorDash. She'll be trying to get delivery from Shenanigans and Wings all the time.
I really want to scream, "NO!" and tear apart a room...and not be the one to clean it up later.
Steve and Tripp hugs always melt my heart just a wee bit. The Patch Man drips with pride and love every time he sees his son, and Tripp lights up the same way about his dad. We don't see enough of this combo!
The Johnsons didn't capitalize on cute. Susan and E.J.'s "oxygen" exchanges were also adorable. I'm glad this relationship has been fleshed out more. It helps to soften Eej's edges.
Leo claiming he's deeply, deeply spiritual was hilarious.
Something just came to mind! While Carrie played a part in raising Will as he spent many years with her and Austin in Switzerland, she was also part of Jeremy Horton's upbringing, since she and Mike had moved to Israel to be near him. Sometimes Salem's twisted connections need to be sounded out.
Marci Miller and Greg Rikaart together were fun to watch!
Maybe now that E.J. has a bit less of an edge, he can bond with brother Jake. I'd think a former race car driver and a dude with a passion for cars would have at least one thing to have a civil conversation about.
When E.J. stated it's been 2,705 days since he took the bullet, did anyone else immediately want to start singing "Two thousand, seven hundred, five days" in a "Seasons of Love" type manner?
For the math and musical theater nerds, 2,705 days would be 3,895,200 minutes.
Anna's series of "No" responses was hilarious! Leann Hunley's performances always crack me up, but this one was pure gold. It also reminded me a little of Madeline Kahn's "Yes/No" musical bit from History of the World: Part 1." Also, a comedy classic!
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for March 28. I'm off to track down some tiramisu -- for medicinal purposes, of course. I've heard it's a cure for Spring Fever. I'll do the leg work and let you know how that goes when we meet again. Meanwhile, Laurisa returns next week with an all new, likely less random Two Scoops. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
Tony
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