Before I get started, I just want to take a second to ask everyone to please be sure to read to the end of the column (after the fan feedback) for something new we'd like you to try. Now, on to a rehash of the past week's activities.
Can it be any more obvious that Cassie is about to meet with some colossal calamity? Anyone unsure of that should walk with me and read some of the clearly posted signs. One, we have Cassie announcing her competent operation of a 4-wheeler on the traffic-free ranch roads, followed almost immediately by verbal evidence of her newly developed crush on Daniel. (Walnut Grove Senior what's his name has apparently fallen from her favor.) Two, she sneaks off to one of those infamous Genoa City parties where there is always at least one underage student vying for the title of most intoxicated (remember Billy lying passed out in the snow?) Three, Daniel's plan to be this year's inebriated party guest. Four, Sharon's lament that for the first and allegedly only time she neglected to remind her wish she were a woman daughter of her deep and abiding love when last they bonded as moronic Mom and disobedient daughter. Five, Cassie's nonexistent ride home with the phantom parent. And six, with Victoria's bags practically packed, we need a reason for her to stick around until Nick begins to sing a slightly altered chorus of We are Family. Which means there couldn't be a better time for one of those Newman family crises where warring Newmans temporarily toss aside their petty quarrels and remember that Newman blood is supposed to be thicker than the wad of dollar bills Nick-a-traitor wants to make to prove he's every bit the ruthless man his father used to be. And more.
By the way, was I the only fan who choked on my Koolaid when Nick commended Sharon for being such a wonderful role model for Cassie? Sharon? Well, I guess that would depend on what role she was modeling. How to spin a torrid tale to deflect blame from yourself and obtain maximum sympathy? How to repeatedly sleep with men not your husband and be forgiven every time? Seducing your father-in-law for beginners? The ABC's of Deserting Your Family.
Anyway, all of the above mentioned signs makes it nearly a given that drinking and driving are going to play a substantial part in this tragedy to be. The question is, which driver will eventually fail to keep careful control of the careening car? Daniel or Cassie? My guess is the culprit will be Cassie, though I have a sneaking suspicion that minute morsel of information may not be immediately apparent. Is history about to repeat itself, with Daniel walking in his mother's shoes by being accused of a crime he didn't commit?
But that's for a little later. For now, in readiness for the coming week, you might want to pull those packets of Puffs from beneath the couch. Because you're probably going to need to pass some of them to Sharon who will surely be beating her breasts, wringing her manicured mitts and wailing uncontrollably above Cassie's bed. Nick, of course, will be right beside her, repeatedly assuring his weeping wife that Newman's are super people, able to beat all odds, no matter how high they're stacked against them. They will, of course, be joined in their round-the clock vigil by the rest of their family, who will add their tears to the crying pool and send their prayers skyward, as all Genoa City residents remember to do when one of their loved ones is in jeopardy. Is Cassie going to leave us permanently? I say no. Just spend the next week, maybe two, in a ferocious "fight for her life." Even if by some wild stretch of scribe imagination she expired, there still would be no need to fret overmuch. Because in the wonderful revolving door world of soap life, she could simply be resurrected from the dead like a certain previously shot dead woman on another soap which will remain nameless. Needless to say if I hadn't already deleted that particular show from my taping menu, my stomach no longer able to digest its too often ridiculous fare, bringing back that thoroughly annoying woman would certainly have been enough to convince me to do so.
Okay, leaving LA behind and returning to the doings in Genoa City, unlike Victor, Katherine has no problem letting her CEO know whose gnarled hands really clutch the company purse. The fact that Kay so quickly threatened to fire Jack must mean the handshake between the two was in lieu of an iron-clad contract. Unlike the dunderhead directing things at Newman, CI apparently doesn't believe in waiving probationary periods for employees, especially if they have the potential to become problematic.
Used to making momentous decisions and committing company funds with or without Jabot Board approval, Jack found to his dismay, that though he might be the new Sheriff in CI town, Marshall Kay was still essentially in charge. Typical of Jack, he immediately turned from the face in the mirror (which was the person actually responsible for placing him in his present predicament) and pointed an enraged finger at, you guessed it, Victor. Yes, Victor spoke to Kay about Jack's intended plans, but I doubt his words were the only reason Kay took immediate action. Because if Victor's words really carried all that weight, Jack would never have been in a position to appoint a CEO, because CI would not have owned Jabot in the first place. No, in my opinion, it was more about Kay showing Jack who was really running things. After all, she warned him after his last behind-her-back deed that another would not be tolerated. So once again Jack has made yet another empty threat to make Victor pay for planting dead flies in his ointment. Will Victor ever have to pony up or will it wind up as just another IOU with Jack's name on it?
Having Jill in charge won't be pleasant for anyone unlucky enough to still have a job at Jabot. The former nail and toe polisher's habit of lording her supposed superiority over one and all while throwing her weight around won't win her any popularity contests and will quickly make me wish for her corporate collapse. Jill's new power will undoubtedly make her even pushier than before, which is saying a lot since her antics were already difficult enough to choke down. But, that doesn't mean I feel any sorrow on Jack's behalf. In order to thwart Victor, for the second time, he has cost his family control of the company. Because with Kay holding tightly to the reins and not at all hesitant about pulling on them, Jack is little more than a prancing puppet, ever in danger of having his strings cut and being tossed willy nilly from the CI stage if he doesn't plod placidly along the precise path Kay has set for him.
Everyone who reads me knows I like Victor, faults and all. But I admit his behavior these past months hasn't made it easy for that affection to continue. Victor seems to have become all past glory and no present guts. Watching him repeatedly prostrate himself so Nick can walk all over him has been almost impossible to stomach. And while I want Victoria at Newman, if for no other reason than to annoy the pompous stuffing out of Nick, I'm disappointed that Victor is being such a meek little lamb about Nick's refusal to let his sister share in the spoils won by Victor. I can't believe Victor butted in and blocked Victoria's CEO avenue yet won't offer her the top cat spot at Newman. All Victor's intervention did was ensure the Jack-Victor vendetta will remain alive and well for many more months to come.
Speaking of keeping hate alive, is Ashley not the nastiest worm to ever poke her bed head out of the wet dirt? How does she utter all those sanctimonious syllables without choking on them? Obviously she's chosen to forget the fact that she once walked in a pair of high heels that looked amazingly identical to Gloria's. I'd like to hold up a double-sided mirror to Ashley's frowned up face and say: lying pot, meet scheming skillet. Why if she were Pinocchio she'd be counted twice in the Wisconsin census because her nose would stretch clear into the adjacent city. Why shouldn't Gloria's lies be swept aside? Ashley's were. And didn't she expect Brad to continue to play happy home once her dirty lies were dug up and spread out for all to see? And what of her own premarital omissions? Had Brad known she'd swiped Victor's swimmers, would he still have been willing to wait at the altar humming Here Comes my Bimbo, I mean bride? Ashley is a horrid, bitter hag who perhaps deserves that scruffy Tom Fisher after all.
Although old Tom has already proven to be nothing close to nice, it's a certainty he will only worsen from here. But the rest of the Fisher Baldwin clan continues to keep me glued to the screen. Michael gets better and better; seeing his anguish and guilt at his long ago failure to protect Kevin as well as his inability to talk about it nearly two dozen years later made for great watching. But while I don't expect torrential tears and shivering fear, I'm not convinced Michael will fare much better than Kevin when it comes to ridding their lives of Tom. Terrible isn't going anywhere anytime soon and Michael should know that throwing money at him will probably cause him to react much like a boomerang - just keep on coming back.
Did anyone else notice that when Mac first began her workout (upper body only) she carefully and gingerly lowered herself to the bench, favoring her supposedly scalded and still slightly sore limb, yet mere moments later she leaped to her feet and practically galloped over to spot J.T. at the weight bench? And then when he failed to fall worshipfully to his knees declaring his undying devotion, I couldn't help but giggle at the rate of speed she used when racing up the stairs to get away from him. Did she forget her leg was supposed to be hurt, or was she exaggerating her injury for J.T.'s benefit?
Every time I get a peek into the Marsino's apartment, I have to look around to make sure I haven't inadvertently stumbled onto the set for Stepford Wives 2005. Or a new and improved version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Because I don't know who that woman wedded to Bobby Marsino is supposed to be, but she sure can't be Brittany. Has some heretofore unheard about personality come forth while Brittany crouches somewhere inside screaming to be let out? Am I the only fan who finds it unsettling that Brittany never loses her temper anymore? Did a new personality, one filled only with sweetness and light, come with matrimony and pending motherhood? She's become so syrupy sweet, my fingers stick to the remote control when I try to hurry her simpering scenes along. I swear one day I saw melted butter drip from the side of her mouth.
I know the Marsino's "poor us" predicament is probably supposed to inspire warm sympathy in my cold uncaring heart, but it's not. "Oh Bobby," Brittany cried worriedly, protectively cradling her burgeoning belly. "However shall we pay these multiplying bills? Why never in all of my entire pampered princess existence have I had to worry about such mundane matters like food, lights and water." "Aw, don't worry your pretty little empty head, my childlike bride," her big strong husband replied, thumping his manly chest. "I will take care of you and this little Bobby or Brittany to be," he promised. "I know you don't want me to return to ogling those dames at the skin pit, shaking all they've got for all they can get," were words he left unsaid; "instead I'll be a receiver of hot diamonds, holding them only until they've cooled considerably." Sigh, they've definitely been hard to watch. Or care about.
Romance, Genoa City style. Remember, when Genoa City was the romance capital of the soap world? Okay, so I might be exaggerating, but not by a whole lot. But those days seem a very long time ago. Now, when it comes to lasting love and sweet romance, Genoa City seems to be coming up short. Here are the current offerings:
Nikki and Victor. When love is good for Genoa City's Romeo and Juliet, it is very, very good, despite the length of time they've been breaking up only to later make up. Unfortunately, they are always so busy sorting out family problems, they seldom have any time left to give and receive each other's love.
Lauren and Michael. Other than a small temporary roadblock in the form of Kevin, their path has been relatively smooth. After enjoying the unexpectedly charismatic connection between Michael and Victoria #1, I feel like Lauren and Michael together are only second best. Maybe it's just me, but while I don't dislike them, I can't say together they generate much excitement in me either. I know, the Heather Tom tugboat sailed downstream long ago, so I guess having him with Lauren is better than having him alone.
Nick and Sharon. The Velcro pair, destined to be stuck together forever. Their altered personalities caused me to stop caring long ago.
Brad and Victoria. His marriage to Ashley apparently an old dead thing with no hope of resurrection, these two are definitely a romantic possibility, especially if the two are thrown together at Newman. It's one to watch.
Bobby and Brittany. I've made my feelings plain on this pairing more than once. I won't repeat myself.
J.T. and Mac. Ditto Bobby and Brittany above.
Jack and Phyllis. Of all the couples in Genoa City, these two, while not always likable alone, are more than tolerable together. Jack seems to be the sole Genoa Citian who brings out a softer, much less strident side of Phyllis. And unless they're arguing about Victor, Phyllis seems to do the same for him. Having said that, however, how many more ways can one be at odds with the other over their respective employers? It has become repetitive and uninteresting and it's long past time they either moved on to less contentious matters or went their separate ways.
Last week I wondered whether I was out on a rickety limb all by my lonesome in finding little to rejoice about in the odd couple of perpetually perky Mac and "Emotions? Not Me!" Jeffrey Todd. Well, it appears I have enough company that we're all liable to end up on the ground when that limb gives way. Thanks to all who replied.
LORI - I agree with you about the new Mac and J.T.. NO HEAT!!! Maybe over time I will change my mind on this new Mac, but I don't think this girly is right for the part.
DEE - Here's my take on the J.T./Mac couple. It's the pits! She looks waaay too old and sophisticated to be a young 20-year old virgin AND there's no fire between them. The actress who played Mac before when Bashioum was gone was at least young and virginal looking. Whoever cast this one in the part made a very, very bad error. I hit the FF button whenever she's on screen. J.T. deserves better and I hope he doesn't end up with this Mac.
LINDA C - I do agree with you about the J.T. and Mac as a couple. I saw more lust between him and Anita. Ashley makes me just as angry and we all know she is no saint. And I cheer for Kevin constantly and he lets me down. When I saw him get up to go to the hospital I was saying, "No Kevin, DON'T", but he did. My 15 year old sometimes views the show and when she sees Cassie, or Lily, she says, "Mom, we don't act like that", so I think she would know more about it than I do. Personally I have never cared for the teen scene, but they really don't have good role models on that show they could look up to.
MACARENA - I like the new Mac; she's pretty! But I agree that she's nothing like the asexual Mac character. Perhaps the writers don't recall that her stepfather molested her. That Mac wouldn't be so open to a whore like J.T.. J.T.. is very bland and expressionless, and I only liked him when he liked Colleen. I am not nearly as kind as you; I DO wish Terrible Tom on Ashley. Ha ha ha ha! I didn't think I could watch because the actor was so slimy on OLTL, but he looks different enough that I am looking forward to his Tomcatting. John doesn't know who Abby's dad is? The real Victor would not be kept from his child (unless, you know, said child was living with his mom in the Midwest). Where's his visitation?!
WANDA - Are there any fans out there who can stomach the mushy stuff of Bob and Brit? They make me want to puke. I can see Victoria and Brad getting together. I considered this a possibility right after she came back. Gloria is doing a great job in the acting department these days. I'm really beginning to like her. I hope John doesn't kick her to the curb. This was a really good week on Y&R. Not much of the Winters family or the kids either (Daniel, Lily, Sierra, Devon).
AND NOW ...... DOUBLE DRUM ROLL ...... THE SOMETHING NEW I PROMISED!
Here at Soap Central, we never like to leave well enough alone. And just because something isn't necessarily broken doesn't mean it can't be tinkered with just the same. Even in his sleep, a certain editor and site owner's mind is always hard at work dreaming up new and hopefully fun ways to entertain the many loyal fans who visit our site. So with that in mind, here's something new we'd like you to try. If you like it, we'll make it an occasional part of the column. If you REALLY like it, maybe we can do it more often.
Here's how it works. I'll pose a question. All you need to do is click on the link you see which will magically and electronically transport you to a place where you can talk about it. Now, the question doesn't always have to come from my scheming mind. It can also come from yours. So if there's something you've been dying to talk about with other fans, drop me a line, and let me know.
Let's begin. Returning to the subject of romance, it seems that enquiring minds (like mine and fan Wanda's (see above) desperately want to know the following. "How do you feel about the Marsino matchup? Do you like them, love them or do they fail to rate even last place on your favorites list? What is it about them that turns you on? Or off? If not with each other, who would you like to see them turn their romantic attention to? Click here to visit a very special discussion thread on our message board where you can share your thoughts about the Marsino's.
